Materialism, Would Jesus wear Baldwins?

I would like to start by saying that this is simply something that has been tagged onto my own heart. I first felt compelled to write this some 3 months ago but shied away from it out of fear and disobedience. I would also like to say right away that I do not know the answer to the posed question. If Jesus was here right now I would most definitely think that He would be given a pair of Baldwins, either by the makers themselves, or by one of the dear owners of a pair that is also a disciple of Jesus Christ. I will say that I doubt very highly He would stake out to get a pair. For readers that have no idea what Baldwins are, they are designer raw denim jeans that are manufactured in my hometown of Kansas City, MO. American made! Can you believe it? They cost on average, roughly $250 a pair, and to be honest they are really freaking cool and I want a pair. If I can fix the root reason in my heart as to why I want a pair I may one day get that pair, but now let’s look at that root problem in my heart. 

At the core I want a pair so I can gain respect or acceptance of sorts from some of my friends as I tell them I am rocking raw denim Baldwins. Watch them nod in approval or compliment me on my choice. Let girls know that not only do I have good choice in style but that I can afford it. Maybe I even want to hold it over some people’s heads that aren’t even aware of what raw denim is and how cool it is. Y’all see where my flesh is going with this? As I try and convince myself of all the positives of getting a pair: the perfect fit, support local business, the durability, whatever it may be, the reality is those reasons are far from the actual reasons I REALLY want them. 

I have always enjoyed nice new things but recently as I have gotten a new job with more financial stability I find myself longing to find acceptance in my appearance and my stuff more than anything. Buying new clothes I do not need, looking into my wardrobe with more than enough stuff and thinking I don’t have anything to wear. What the heck? Am I really falling into the black hole of the American dream? As I looked over my life a few months back I was shocked. I was striving to be the best in my job, so I can move up, make more money, buy nicer clothes, get a better car, and land a smoking hot wife because she thinks I am successful. All of this is worthless stuff that could be gone so fast by something out of my control. I need to be working to be the best in my job so I can glorify God and be a witness of His goodness.

The reality is this, it's materialism and it’s all super lame. I am called to find my acceptance in Jesus and nothing else. I am called to give to the poor, my first fruits, my best and lots of it. How fast I would be to give Jesus the shirt off of my back if He needed it but how slow I would be to even consider it if a homeless drug addict asked me on the street. So often I seek the approval of others, especially those that I admire or consider cool. I get so caught up in the American dream I lose focus of simply loving Jesus, loving others and making disciples. I find myself constantly looking back to the cross and asking Jesus for mercy. He is the only thing that remains constant and never changing. He promises to provide anything and everything I will need and because of that I don’t have to seek the approval of others and I don’t have to do this on my own. What good news! It won’t be easy, probably more challenging than you would think but the truth is, finding life in Christ, will be the most rewarding. 

"For all that is in the world - the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life - is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." - 1 John 2:16-17

"And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’" - Matthew 25:40

“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you - you of little faith!" - Luke 12:27-28

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10

2012: "One Thing Remains"

     Roller Coaster. That's how I would describe 2012. Lots of highs and lows. Was it picture perfect? No, not so much. Would I trade it for anything in the world? Mmm... Possible. It's hard to say I still don't want to change a few of those lows. Let me just take you on brief ride through my roller coaster of a year.

January and February: I begin on a low note with a break up and then start my ascent up the roller coaster nice and slow until I peak in March.

March and April: I leave for Uganda in late March and will spend my next two months there serving some of the poorest people in the world.

May: In early May, about 3 weeks before I come back to the states, I get mugged by roughly 8 guys on a street in Uganda. Praise God they did not have any weapons, but it was not a pleasant experience to say the least. There is a video detailing the incident in a post from then. In late may I return to the states.


June and July: This was probably the best time of the year for me. I got to travel to Mexico for my "second dads" birthday. I got to attend two great weddings in Wes and Cali Strunk and Patrick and Chastity St. Louis. Little did I know that these weddings would be the last times I saw two very important people in my life. I took my buddy Ethan McLean to Colorado for his bachelor party with a group of great guys, and then there was the wedding that followed. It was a blessing to be a part of something so awesome.

August: On the 5th of August my college roommate Kirk Urso passed away. This was rough to say the least. You can see that in my previous post. I continue to struggle with this loss at times. It did however, remind me of the great group of friends that I have who rallied to Chicago for the services.

September and October: Pretty low key until I get a job with Strativa Pharmaceuticals at the end of October, and began my pursuit of being a sales rep.

November: My cousin Johnny passed away. I found out while at a work meeting in New Orleans. That was my first visit to that fabulous city. Upon returning, I ran my first marathon and honestly, very possibly my last.

December: And hear I am. This month has been full of reflection and future vision. The holidays have been great. And I can't wait to continue this adventure of life.

    Through all of this I have dealt with your typical everyday struggles and stresses as well as had some great new people come into my life. I continue to struggle with a sinful temptation for intimacy that I know only God can fulfill. I know this because nothing else has done so. The thing my flesh desires most just leaves me wanting more. Simply put, my soul desires more than my flesh can achieve. I was made for something out of this world, we all were, so it really makes since that things of this world aren't satisfying to us. And if they are, it's only momentary. Besides my ups and downs, my struggles and temptations, the good and the bad the year of 2012 has left me with one thing on my mind and that is, that through it all only one thing remains and that is God and His love and desire for us. Nothing explains this better to me than a song by Kristian Stanfill, "One Thing Remains." Jesus was definitely the only constant and dependable part of my 2012 and will continue to be the only assurance I have in 2013 and for the rest of my life at that. The truth is, God is love, and He made you for that love. Which in case, is why, it's the only satisfying thing for our souls. Hard to believe, but true indeed. Have faith and take the journey of 2013 knowing this truth. It is scary and hard but satisfying. I promise. Here is to 2013.

   

Kirk, This Is The Reality

         

  Shook up to say the least. The reality hasn't really hit me yet. It's as if my head is stuck in a bit of a fog or haze that just encircles my head as I walk everywhere. The guy I shared a room with for two years, one of my best friends, is dead. What the hell? I mean really, 22 years young. A professional athlete for goodness sake. What kind of messed up story is this? And who finds out of their best friends death over twitter? I mean I guess this is where the world is; where social networking allows things to travel faster than word of mouth but damn. I mean at first I thought it was some kind of sick joke. It wasn't. As Daniel said, "Why would they joke about that?" They wouldn't, I just didn't want to believe it. 

The first two or three hours were a mix of crying, sadness, shock, and anger. As I ran out of my church this morning trying to call my brothers of 1111 I felt as if I was floating and at loss for breath. As i made it to the crossroads district in downtown KC it hit me the hardest for some reason. As I pulled my car over and just sat there I could feel it overwhelm me. The sweat, the tension of every muscle in my body and the feeling that your stomach and intestines were all recoiling back up your esophagus as I yelled in the most pleading and desperate yell I may have ever let out in my life. "Why?" It was defining and disgusting to my ears and it was coming from me. It was the sound that death causes to reverberate through a soul. A soul that is struggling to see the life, the life on the other side of death. 

After walking through the streets of KC aimlessly for about 2 hours my emotions turned to shock. That is where I have been most of the day. Just struggling to believe Kirk's death as a reality. I put down three Blue Moons for him. Until today, I didn't even like beer. 

I can feel myself beginning to fall out of this state of mind and the reality starting to settle in. Now I just want to wake up. I want to wake up and this be a dream, when I know it is not, or is it? It may not be a dream but it definitely is not life the way it was intended to be. Because if it was then the creator of life is just effed up in the head. 

How do I encompass this shitty situation with the reality that Kirk is alive. That he did wake up this morning. He woke up with a adductor that had no pain. He woke up to the real life. Life the way it was intended to be, lived in the presence of God. Kirk saw God's face this morning and he did not have a second guess of what I was doing. He was on his millionth game of pick up before I even shed a tear. 

Knowing this doesn't make it easy though. It's actually bringing me to tears for the first time in many hours. It's hard to accept I guess that he won't be there from now on when I want him to be. Whether it is when I'm getting married and having kids or when I just need to give him a shout later this week. Honestly, I am just thankful. Thankful that God puts people like Kirk into our lives. Even if it is for just a short time. It sucks so hard but God is so faithful. He didn't have to put Kirk in my life in the first place but he did and that is the beauty and that's why my hope is in Christ. Without Him I may have never known Kirk and this day could be meaningless. It's not though. This day sucks, and I'm thankful. 

As I head to bed I'm not even tired. I'm confused and have a headache, wondering if I will get any sleep tonight. Whether I do or not is besides the point. The point is there is hope for us all. That no matter what our pain is right now it will get better. Whether it is an adductor that has been bothering you for years or whether it is the loss of your best friend, this brokenness isn't how it was supposed to be and when this dream or "life" as they call it is over we can be made whole and live life the way it was really meant to be.

John 10:10

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

John 14:27

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid."

10 Years Young, A Hero For Life

               As I walk through the trash filled paths of one of the many slums in Kampala, Uganda there are many things I am trying to process. First is the smell, straight sewage. Excuse my honesty but it smells like straight shit, and it is heart breaking. I see trash, everywhere, and then I see people staring and pointing. This time, however, it is not me the people of the slum are pointing and staring at, which is a first. As they point I can hear them chatting of the subject that their fingers have drawn them too. You see, the girl I walk with, Esther, was just voted, “Hero of the Month” by the biggest news paper in Uganda, Sunday Vision. This mint a front page photo and story, so here is why Esther is more than just a “hero for a month.”

                I say her story but what story of a child would start without beginning with her parents. Rachel is the proud mother of Esther. Rachel lost her first child after becoming pregnant due to a rape. Rachel is blind and very fragile. After losing her first child she became pregnant a second time by another man, Esther’s father. He, however, was HIV+ and has transferred the disease to Rachel. He later left Rachel and Esther and was rarely around. He has now passed. Rachel now HIV+, gave birth to Esther who currently does not show she has the disease, but this maybe because at 10 years old she is too young for the disease to show. I obviously hope and pray that she does not have the disease.  More trouble came when Rachel’s father past away. Owning two plots of land Rachel’s father left the land to Rachel and her siblings. Rachel’s sibling, however, tried to run Esther and Rachel out. Leaving them homeless, Rachel got the idea to go to IJM (International Justice Mission) and try and win back from her own brother and sister her share of the home. She was successful, but it was also costly. With her siblings upset they had to give her a place to stay, they abandoned Rachel and Esther for dead in 2007. Seriously though, Rachel, a blind HIV+ mother, who cannot work, and her 5 year old daughter, Esther. IJM referenced the family to, Empower a Child who helped get Esther a sponsor so she could attend school and possibly help the family in any way. Esther has cared for her mother by herself since then. Now 10, Esther wakes up every morning and makes tea and breakfast for her mother. She then runs to school and returns home after school is out and continues to care for her mother.

 By God’s grace and Esther’s determination, Esther has been able to care for her mother and herself for the past five years. They live in a tiny 10’x10’ home (it is most definitely a small room but they call it home) with a small old coffee table, a shelf, a bench, a chair, and a small bed that they share. Esther cooks, cleans, does laundry, fetches water and gets food (when they have money for it). She also attends school and helps care for her ailing mother in any other way she may need:  walking her to the bathroom, taking her to get medication, or staying home from school on days when Rachel is not feeling well. On all of this their home, which is in a slum, is not good for them. It is old and worn. The walls do not hold water back anymore so when it rains, it floods. Esther then has to bucket as much water out as she can. What she can’t she waits for it to dry. This produces a large amount of mosquitoes. 

Esther’s excitement to see me when I got to her house was enormous. She began jumping up and down shouting, “Tyla, Tyla, Tyla!” She said it was only the second time a muzungu (white person) had been to her house. She told me how she does not like school, how her “friends” make fun of her and how they stole her shoes this week when she had to remove them for PE, icing on the cake right?

The most powerful part of this story though is the contagious smile of Esther. It never seems to leave her face, always grinning from ear to ear. When I first met Esther I never knew her story. Her high amount of energy is probably what drew us together the first time, as I chased her, spun her, through her, and laughed with her. That day I thought Rachel was her sister, her escort to the sponsorship meeting. I had no idea it was her mother. It was not until Esther and Rachel came to the house for a second sponsorship meeting that I got the story after we played for a long while and had bible study. Going to the home was only the third time I had got to see them and tomorrow will be my last. We don’t know how much longer Rachel’s life will last, but when she passes, Esther will be able to go to boarding school which will produce a safer and healthier living condition for her. She has already asked to go to boarding school, but knows she cannot because of the care she must provide for her mother. She is a very strong and smart girl. She tells me she wants to be a lawyer.

In one photo you will see Esther, Rachel, and I. You will also see a photo of me with Esther and the neighborhood kids. I think most of them were around because the muzungu was there more so than to see Esther.

 I was almost in tears as I left their place yesterday. It took everything I had to hold them in. It was extremely hard for me to say goodbye. Knowing that I would be on the other side of the world next week with not much I could do for them. Afterwards, however, I realized how much I could do for them, through prayer. As it is one of the most powerful things we can utilize in this life. If you would like to help Esther and her mother in anyway please let me know. Literally anything would help them. If not then please join me in praying for them.

Be Blessed

Sweet Lou

Matthew 5:39

     The sound can make me sound like a robot of sorts so you may need to mess with the volume a bit to get it to sound better. I talked to my friend Mercy she said after I got hit she saw my 'specs' fly and went to grab them. As she did she got kicked and when she came up got punched and so she just ran. It was good to hear she was safe and wasn't a part of it! 

We are unworthy, but the Glory of God is willing.

We are unworthy, but the Glory of God is willing.

                What does this statement mean? Simply that we are not worthy to have anything to do with God. We are sinful people who do not deserve to even have a God and in reality things probably would have been easier for God had He not created man. The Glory of God, however, is so much so, that He made man. Knowing, even before He created us, that we would fall, but in that being able to glorify Himself in everything that He has done on Earth and in the Universe. From speaking creation into being, to fixing a broken world, it was all a part of the original plan.

                It is this master plan that I believe God has put into place that has gotten me through many of the hard times I have faced in life. Today, it is what gives me hope for people like the two kids I wrote about in my previous post. It is the hope in God’s plan that allows me to walk through parts of this country and smile. From looking at the trash in the streets, to the orphan babies I see and wonder were they will be 10, 20, 30 years from now. If there is one thing I know about my God it is that He loves taking broken things and making them whole and that is His promise at the end of time. That all who proclaim Jesus as God and believe that He rose from the dead will be restored at the end of time. Restored beyond our own imaginations so don’t even try and imagine what it would be like.

                Anyhow, my time here is being well spent. This week three of the other MST’s leave which will make me the only person from outside Uganda working at projects tell the 13^th when more MST’s will arrive. This will be challenging as I will be taking on many roles from leading praise and worship, coordinating the projects, organizing games, as well as telling stories from the bible. I will have the help from some of the Ugandans on staff, who will take on some of these roles, but any prayers I can get for endurance and patience would be great.

                Yesterday I was able to preach to some high school kids that are sponsored through Empower a Child, about 40 of them. It was great! I could see the Lord really allowing them to hear as I shared about the parable of the sower. Then we played soccer which was a lot of fun as well, and I took on my character as Wayne Rooney.

                I shared the Gospel with my friend Unus about a week and a half ago. He is stuck on the testimony that he is sure he has from his Muslim god. That testimony being that he grew up not going to school but somehow knows how to speak English, and does not know how to explain this other than his god blessed him with this ability. I’m stuck at how to approach him on the subject now and have just been praying for him. If you have any insight on how you would recommend me approach him I would greatly appreciate it. If not, please keep praying for him.

                My favorite thing I have started doing lately is going outside the gate of where I am staying; the same place I ran into Charles and Joel from my last post, and just sitting and reading the bible to them. I read on my Ipad in the light of the moon on a tiny curb with anywhere from 6-15 heads just gathered around gazing and listening. Yesterday I read the last four Chapters from Luke and the first two chapters from Genesis. It is such and encouraging time and I absolutely love it. Last night though, when I went out to read one boy ran from his home a few doors down to listen, but his mother called for him immediately after he arrived. I could hear him getting swatted when he returned home. I felt horrible to say the least, and hope that he was being swatted for not listening to mother and not because he wanted to hear from the bible. I also have all the neighborhood kids greeting me with “Ahhwhoo!” As if I am the Leonidas from Sparta in the movie 300. So as I walk down the street I will yell, “Ahhwhoo!” immediately kids will run from every direction shouting, “Ahhwhoo! Ahhwhoo! Ahhwhoo!” It is awesome to say the least!

                Anyway, if there is anyway I could be praying for you let me know. I have received a few prayer requests and have been lifting those people up but would love to be praying for anyone else who needs it!

Be Blessed

Sweet Lou

Two Stories In Need of Redemption

               The sun was starting to set as I walked out of the gate of my current residents. I was simply checking to see what the neighborhood kids were up too. Sometimes I go out there and there are about 20 of them just running around playing or simply standing around and talking. However, this time, there was only one child standing there. I went to greet him and asked him how he was doing. “Oltya?” I say, which is, how are you? In Luganda. “Jendi,” (fine) he responds. I do not recognize this child. He then tells me his name is Charles and does not have school fees, but that he would like them. He is 12. He tells me his father died recently in a motorcycle wreck and now his family cannot afford for him to go to school. He just moved in with his aunt and uncle. I tell him I cannot promise him anything but I can see if we can get him on the list of kids who need sponsors. The boy’s uncle then walked up to us and tells me that the boy is a good kid. I tell him I will try to help. He then points to another boy walking up the drive. He tells me that this child’s twin sister died last night and they just told the boy today.

                Heart broken I walk over to the other boy who seems to be showing no emotion at all. Emily, another missionary, is with the boy. For the next hour more kids would come and gather around as Emily and Obbo (our guard) would try and get the story out of the boy. I would distract the other boys by reading to them from the Bible on my Ipad as it was dark now. It was encouraging to have seven kids from 5 to 17 gathered with their heads around as I read about Moses in Deuteronomy. When we went inside the gate I was able to get the rest of the story of the boy who lost his sister.

                The boy is nine years old and one of many children. His name is Joel and, he says he is one of 20 but only he and his two sisters stayed at his home with his mother; one of the sisters being the one who died just the night before. His father stays with another woman in the village. The woman wanted his father to stay with her and so he did. He is a farmer. I am guessing that the other 17 children are from other women that his father has had relation with. They are Muslim so they may also be his different wives. He and his sister had been very sick for a long time. He had gotten better she did not. The family had tried everything to help his sister. They went to a witch doctor in the village who their family works a lot with. It sounds as if the witch doctor has some sort of strong hold on Joel’s family as his family keeps going back even though people keep getting sick. Obbo was helping Emily with translation and made it sound as if there was some powerful spiritual attacking going on with the witch doctor and the family. Finally, the Joel’s mother sold everything so that she could afford to take his sister to the hospital. The girl improved but then got sick again and died. The family now has on money and the boy stopped going to school when the mother had to give all their money to the doctor. He now needs a sponsor as well to attend school. This is a minor detail to the fact that he did not get to go to his sister’s funeral. He is not allowed to see his sister’s body or even the casket or the vehicle carrying the casket. They believe that as a twin if he sees any of this he will become sick and die as well. He has been told that he cannot cry or show that he is sad. He was outside the gate that night with family friends who he used to stay with while he was in school. The rest of his family was at the funeral that took place that day. He would go back with his family the following day.

                I have been finding it hard to put into perspective some of the things that I am being exposed too while here in Uganda. The best way to do so I figured was by simply sharing the stories of the people I am meeting while here. It seems my emotions have become numb to stories like these two boys. My heart still breaks for them but my response is not so much an emotional shock as it was in the beginning. I seem to be over that. I simply desire for Jesus to heal these situations. I understand that He is the only one that can help either of these kids and will be the only one that can rescue them. Hopefully we can get them on a list to be sponsored but only time will tell. The good news is that God uses situations like these and people like these to magnify His Glory. For that is simply why we were created, to bring glory to God. I hope to spend more time with these kids in the coming weeks and love them in anyway that I can. God loves me and my response to that is to love others.

This is why I am here. This is why I feel God has brought me to Uganda. No amount of money, no amount of service, no teaching, no education or knowledge will give hope like Jesus does. Certainly all of those other things can help or even lead to the understanding of Jesus, but while I am here, if I could give that hope to just one person, child or adult, that it may bring glory to God then my time here was worth it.